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Cropped the Bodyshot

Edit

I fixed the Flickr link so it would work.

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Funny

Funny how unpopular people think they're better.

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Independent

I was very independent from my dad as I approached graduation from high school and lived in a university dorm.

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mad

My dad got grossly close after the n word thing with Tim Burton, thinks he can sense a change.

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wut

My dad seems to get mad, easily.



What do you think of families where kids get unnecessarily close and sorta end up over-exposed?

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Mobile

Problems

Stop acting like I did something wrong.  What, confiding in my aunt and not worrying @ her sanity?

Mad

Everyone keeps looking @ me and doing things to me socially like they understand, but not a flicker of movement on their face..  You don't understand nothin'!  You never took an interest to the real me.  What do you think I am, now, a psychopath?

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Twitter

Problema

You can't tell me I'm not as good as a famous person cus I didn't like you annoying me, spoiled brat. Well, have fun w/o me.

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Prejudice

A Frenach or mixed American man saw my hair and eyes were lighter and decided everyone else should be light-haired to me.

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Mobile

Problema

Why would my mom think it's cute I lost my watch so other people feel better about themselves, while with me people are always mean and say any little pleasure is wrong?

Abnormality

Why ya'll being mean that maybe I shouldn't be able to think something @ myself?  That's not normal.

Also, I'm still being flooded with endless insults, like my page jumped at me when I was upset.. maybe just what pages did.

Morning

I just noticed my brother and dad were awake so went to see.  I wanted to put down my dream, but it's hard to remember, now.  I just e-mailed my mom @ too much medicine this time, for somer reason I remember I said I liked the higher dosage, but now I'm tired.

Shopping

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Still

Brother being mean.  I woke up to use the bathroom and when I came out he was using the sink and then hit a pan 2 times, herad the metallic feeling.  It makes me not know if I'm tired or not.

smartwater

I keep having it..

Didn't I already say~

I'm sorry?  Not even sure if it mattered to you.  Dunno, don't matter to me.

WAH! D;

Wah did I go outta control w|my mom?  I should not care, but I wanna be in my room at peace.  Was getting stuff.  My dad had just come out again.

Maybe, I just don't wanna be gay, too.  That was rather startling.

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Zonk

I need to really lie down.  :)

My "Conclusion"-

So, I find like random offenses against me.. like Ellen's daily posts, like a small thing dropped into a background as an insult - forget what else I was gonna say.  I had some idea @ her, something @ like ooh you don't watch TV.  I do sometimes but like it seems like once in a blue moon, I sleep.  I sit @ the computer.

Also, my stomach is so bloating.  It's from sitting @ at the mental hospital.  I wonder if I will ever be better..everyone seems to be in the same situation.  No exercise or no sleep.

I don't mean anything against Ellen, just wanted to figure out something I was thinking.  I feel she's also dropping in saying, "Don't do it."  I get the feeling she's waiting for her daughter to be born.  She should have *** with a ***y guy from New Orleans..I know they had some.

I'm glad she's preparing for having 1 baby, a girl.  She's gay, too.  I dunno she likes boys.  What if it's the way we've gotten other signals.  At this rate, I can't have my 2 kids, but she can have 1.

Edit

I edited the text box.

Problemas

I didn't even want my dad around me.  He thinks I'm in jail.  Isn't that sorta "out?"

Problema

STOP MAKING ME MAD AND PICKING AT THE WORDS I USE

I heard a beep and found my dad didn't text back.  He did that to mean something stupid.  He's very unappealing as a mad guy.  Not sure why his sisters are so fast-paced.

Una Problema

What, Ginny, think you're popular?  You're just like every single other person in the world than me.  I can get mad if I want bc you're always in a sorry mood.  What's this?  Messages at home that are insulting and stupid and redundant?  I TALK BACK

Ooh, go hide in a corner and "say it ain't so."

No one is nice to me.  How can I be nice to them?  I am, but they all dig into me.  I let myself out.  They don't.

I DON'T CARE LEAVE ME ALONE

Problema

How'm'I gonna practice voice, today, with everyone attacking me.  Who cares @ my brother?  I DON'T.  Ooh, Ellen, did I type that?  Is that the point of your Tweet for today?  I don't care if I wasn't little in the place you're from.  I lived there a long time and know more @ it than you might.  I know everyone there repeats things.

Hmph

You think nothing you do matters to me.  I don't wanna hear anything about my reaction because you didn't listen.  You knew I just typed up a big thing @ this!

Problema

My mom won't stop, and she just meandered away.  She also wants me to resend a schedule, like week-to-week or something.

GINNY I DON'T GIVE A CARE WHAT YOU THINK @ ANYTHING I DID WHEN YOU WEREN'T @ LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP MATTERING .. why am I getting these defences from you by others, my mom, my brother?  Why do you give a care?

I really won't take this.  I said something back, and you didn't listen!  So I don't care!

And

I almost prefer my dad in some sense not be considered anything in my life really like always thinking if I got some public acclaim he'd be 1 person to ruin my situation.  He's acting rather mushy..

So

I notice people keep coming to terms with me, making me feel very bad things, lots of effort to ward off, silent effort..  What I know is my dad's oldest sister who is younger seems to wonder why don't I get hurt for enjoying her.  She acts like I am a bad person and do things I shouldn't, like looks at things from a prism.  No, I'm sorry, I will not do this for her.. duh, who would?  It keeps happening.  Why does this happen and not something else?  No one else does this like this for no reason.

So, last night, my brother made me feel like my eyes were like a little bandana around my head, and my mom did that from around the back of my butt, both with 2 points on the ends, like a plastic gauze or something.  That's rather sickening.  Can anyone help them?

Update

New Text Box

Old Text Box Info.

Race:
White|Chinese migrated to non-Asian-Oriental culture
Caucasian Side Ethnicities Calculation:
Germanic, Viking|Irish, ?NA? (German, French, Dutch, English + Swiss..) PA Dutch|Amish
American Heritage:
Pennsylvanian all 4 corners + at least 1 line of some type of New Yo'ker

Desired Work:
Tinkerbell in Disney Main Street Electrical Parade, if too tall by an inch then Alice in that parade
Activities:
Singing Lessons, starting my 1st Jazz Classes maybe 2 times a week @ 2 different places
Past Activities:
Ballet 11 years, Singing seriously myself 21 years, Choir 9 years, best|Baton Twirler 2 years..
Special Skills:
Piano|Accompaniment, basic Gymnastics abilities, Ballet muscle memory, experience in Art and proclaimed artist by others, certain Athletic things, a good handle on the voice for speaking and Eastern and Southern regionalism..

What I Should Do

Take off my contacts and go to sleep.  3)

Food

Pasta cooling  3)

Won't Stop

My brother, trying to be triumphant, very annoying, no relation.  I don't like to look as he does, thinking it's funny to be like sorta starch, non-Caucasian skin and long, greasy hair.  Still has pimples.  Doesn't express anything to me that seems like especially Europeany helpful, keeps playing around, doesn't form his face as he should.  That's not me, at all, I was able to listen to my mom, then there comes my brother with her and my dad.

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Immoral Family

My dad admits if he's shitty, ordinarily.

My mom is vicious and threatening racially.  She is kind to others, maybe not deep in public.  I heard her with other mental health-related workers and stuff thinking how they got me to say something that they can make it so I get myself in trouble with them like doing things that make me do it and land locked up again for a long time, conveniently put me somewhere else, like they don't really want anything to do with me but to be mean to me and harm my life.

This Way

Think of it this way.  Ellen don't care @ nothin'.  Forget what else.  Yea, she's like a machine shooting out tennis balls that says what I did that was New Orleanian|Slidellian when I lived there means nothing.

Una Problema

I already didn't wanna be like my brother.  I think I have it better than you.  He's ruining my New Orleanian|Slidellian heritage.  I mean, he like staked his life on having every place we move over me unless we had moved back.  I already thought he shat and didn't think anything through.  What do I do that's mean?  I have niggers niggering me, literally, sometimes I am mad but rightfully so, trying to avoid niggers.

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Update

Just updated the text box.  Updated the race.

Utterly MAAAD

I was too tired to see Monsters University yesterday.

Updating

Old Text Box Info.

Hometown:
SE FL + NO
Career Path:
Performing + Directing
Personality:
Romantic + Action Seeker
Ethnicities: NW Chinese, German, Irish|Viking, French, Dutch, English, {indian?}
Race:
White|European

School Goals:
AA Music @ VCC
BM Singing @ Rollins
Masters in Music Education

Twitter

I mean it.

I want my life back, not everyone talking in code to me that I like who's famous @ my dad!!!!  My dad is like m******** me via this experiment, it feels.  I will not take it!  I was into Tim Burton, and he already wasn't supposed to touch me unless he was feeling uncrazy again.

Problema

Bella Thorne wouln stop acting mean like to me it seems.  Suggesting things, like @ my birth I think now.

Annoying

Lily Rose is a dork, what else was I gonna say .. keeps hinting in insults at me.  She thinks she's better than me and can ruin my relationships.

Problema

I don't care how "bad" a person is.. but I did not see you invade their privacy.

Always Accepted

So, you younger parents who aren't too young always make your kids feel accepted in the world.

I notice

I notice you wouldn't ask weird things to a young teenager.

Problema

It's true, my dad like gargle coughed twice as I went to and from the bathroom.  It was rather, er, pathetic.  It was about me being worthless thinking I'd accidentally k*** myself.  He has to "cover" things because he's not being as nice as before ever it seems, like there's nothing else there, no more of the good life, thanks to ya'll, don't take it out through my parents.  Yes, I'm very mad and wouldn't mind if I could think of something else mean to say.

My Calculation

Wow, Ellen doesn't like young people.  She is suggestive to us wanting attention.  I want to think I'm right, and I felt threatened @ it by my dad, too.  I mean, I questioned my dad not being as nice because of not doing well in school and the n word thing.  People are all mean to me.  I was told to leave college 3 times, not told directly but to "get some rest."  They did actually mention that in with their shit on why.  I even had good grades, I think.  This teacher Ginny, *beep*, probably mad I didn't know @ repeating the hw when she sent me to the counselor during her 1st class, Voice for the Actor.  She's a speech therapist .. works @ Disney.  Anyway..  So, Ellen is using the n word thing as an excuse to not be nice to me.  I just got a hint @ that, that I think the world is wheezy @ "finding out."  It sounds like a fad.  If you're not cool, you can't do what only cool people do, they think, like be bad and call people stuff.  If you do, then they somehow find some intelligent way of h*r*ing you.

Problema

Why act like I have a mental illness and lost all my dignity just because I had a hard Gifted History course which was also AP .. and got called in for being more like withdrawn.

Then, people actually bit at me for poorer grades, at a public high school .. switched to a Catholic 1.

Don't you get that feeling with Ellen DeGeneres?  Maybe, even Tim Burton like that, a man?

More

So, what's so funny @ me deciding it was a mistake to give a shit @ my dad?  I did give a shit.  It's his fault my world became unexciting and my mom's for getting me in the hospital by insisting an attitude on me, something to do with my dad being older.  What happened was the n word thing.  1st, Johnny Depp acted like I should call him stupid "to get it out."  Then, he was like a plague after me.

Twitter Post

I'm not saying you should trash your wedding dress just because it's a fad, but if you do, I wanna see a photo! http://ellen.tv/1aAVhdg

She just doesn't really like people.

Problema

So, Ellen made a suggestive post, "trashing your wedding dress."  I get a funny feeling she gives a shit @ what my dad thinks.  I will not accept his bullcrap about suddenly ruining our relationship in fear of others because of the n word thing, which was stpid.

Why can't anyone just respect me like before Tim Burton and the n word thing?  Who cares @ him?  I tried hard to be a good fan, and he's just racist and emits only little bits of knowledge at a time, like he's hard to reach or something.. isn't doing the same kinds of projects as before, from what I remember a long time ago.  I am a long-time active online fan.

Bad Dream

My brother's dog was a Chinese dragon and we were like in and under him and it was a girl and it was gonna have a baby.

That looks like the dog on my background.  My dad even said, "We're not getting a cat," and no reason, when I said used to think of wanting 1.

Also, I wanted to wash some things to wear, and I see my dad's stuff is already filled and my mom doesn't do laundry until tomorrow.

Problema

My dad doesn't feel safe just being nice to me.  If you want him to be mean to me, then *beep*  I've had it with his thing with the n word thing and outright am on attack in my mind for anything that happens.

Mobile

Are you gay?

Depending on what my mom's age is or isn't you think oh well that means she's not as good.

Ex er cise

I did a legs and upper arm workout - Jillian Michaels - No More Trouble Zones

So

What if my mom isn't white?

So

You had a problem with me being cool and authentic.  Are your children authentic?  Well, yes..

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Batch #1

YouTube

Show-Off

Why show off your mental illness from the trashiness of the life of your own?

Problema

GINNY

Please.  Do not **** the teens outta school.  Maybe anyone would care to make my life such a mystery as theirs????

OK

Ginny.  Who'd want to take your Goddamned classes?

Impossible

I see teens walzing down the mall on Saturday with big smiles looking up ahead like they did anything in life, think others did it all for them..

Messin' @

Why is Ginny messin' @ with Lily Rose, suggesting she's better than us?  Sure, she's more famous and more pretty, maybe to some more nice

Just Wondering

I have no idea why you think people won't make up some reason to put you down.

What happened?

What happened to the respect - TIM BURTON.  Everything, bad Tim Burton.  I'm better than those mean fans.

That's so dorky.

I'm tired of putting up with this high society disposition.  I liked Ginny for who she was.  Lily Rose wants to say she's worth more than me, just "came up."  That's so dorky.

Question

What's Ellen got against me?

St0p!

Ellen stop crapping at me, unless that's Ginny or something.  Why can't you ever leave me the fuck alone?

St0p!

Ellen, can you shut the fuck up saying I grew up in a crappy culture?

Problem

Something stupid is happening.  Ellen I will not do anything you say.  I load Twitter and I go to select down and it like washes over and makes you look at these other names.  Let's just make Ellen always sit in a hard chair.  Who did this, tho, Ginny too?

Problema

Don't feel as excited physically anymore.

Twitter

Too Depressed

to practice but guess I will .. need a jog..? floor workouts

IMDb

Did you know?

Did you know Ellen acts like she meant something bad?  Ellen, never be mean to me?

Una Problema

You know what Ellen or someone with her really did?  They wanted to make sure I never thought of the word die, nigger, etc.  Like it couldn't be pushed into me and pop up.  HOW STUPID CAN A PERSON BE.  YOU DON'T EVEN CARE.

Experiment

I don't like being insulted at any given moment.  In real life, I find ways to ward it off more and more.  Some people are just scared.

Hmph!

I put the dressing away but feel too sad and mad.

My clothes are drying.  Also, my dad wanted me to ask my brother something.

Mad Mad Mad

It's all Tim Burton's fault .. It's Tim Burton's fault .. It's Tim Burton .. Tim Burton!

Also, I now question my dad's idiocy living in the house hearing him for months not caring about me, too.

SEE THEY ALL LIKE NELL BURTON and my cousin and I don't.

Bad News

I feel I've eaten nothing and perhaps a bit gross..I used store bought Caesar dressing and there was also no sauce on this huge wrap, not the snack wrap, Ranch.  Too dangerous to call the police.  Lawyers I realized could have a problem with me, but I might need 1 for school.

Una Problema

STOP PICKING ON ME AND SENDING ME TO MY DAD IN TROUBLE

Ginny, you aren't as nice as you would've been.  I didn't call you shit online, this time.

I don't give a fuck.  It's my blog, and I didn't start anything.

Tim Burton.

I can say whatever I want as long as there is no threat.  I don't like cursing AT people, though, and think the word fuck is especially funny.  Make me mad and I might do something, like say a word you clam to not adore.

Why does it sound like everyone knows about my order now?  It's just my dad.  You mean you did it on purpose?  What's that supposed to mean?  I'm not doing shit.  I'm not feeling sorry for anything I do.  I just say sorry to you.  You -were- mean, and I try to avoid it, but cursing is funny and didn't mean anything, just felt different for a bit then regretted giving anyone the pleasure.

Feeling Bad

Orlando always plays around, and that's why, tho I like the location spot, I think Orlando people are shit.  Not meaning a long time ago in style.

I got no dressing in my salad and wanted EXTRA and no straw nor plasticware.  Maybe, my dad walked in, not sure.

Yesterday

Need to get the post up saying I had it w/o the wrap, yesterday.

Mickey Dee's

Premium Southwest Salad with Crispy Chicken
McCafé Frozen Strawberry Lemonade
Premium McWrap Chicken & Ranch (Grilled)

Bon Apetite, my food is here and I'm eating now!

Tired

Time to practice voice.. after a shower?  Dunno, may nap later, maybe not, though.

Oh, and I'm starting jazz classes, immediately.  $12 per class.  It's so I can be like Tinkerbell in the front of the Disney parade.  Even if I were Alice I'd need it.  Ballet is very staunch and I do have a lot of training compared to a modern dancer or maybe even someone who's always been to the same school.  Need to do floor workouts, as well.  I was still tired, had some water this morning, need to take pills.  Not sure.  Will probably wait until lunch.  My stomach is smaller and tighter.  There were so many girls and some boys at that audition.

I should probably sing, see if I can do something to my hair, put on a bra, cuz I record it.  I was gonna practice yesterday, but just had a burger with my parents and went to bed.  Of course, the day before I was trying to sleep.  Had some problems, slept early the night before, gone all day.

Analyzation of Self

I was rather grumpy after auditions.  I said nasty things bursting out @ Ellen DeGeneres and Ginny, sorta through with certain thing with Tim but still am a fan and like him as much, like with Ellen and Ginny.  I think Ellen is rather special to me, seems to get along, lived where she lived, most like me at this point in her life as I was not chubby when little and had more dark hair and light skin and not too dark of eyes, though.  Well, I guess with Ginny, I mean, not sure, think she understands.  Saw her post on Facebook when I got mad online, don't remember what I said but may have later taken it back.  This time, I was with my mom, and she was just so stressful seeming possibly.  I'm also mad what Ellen might have thought of my mom, like said she was not as cool as she used to, which I do find rather dumb and of course mean.  Ginny also gave her a book and I found the CD in it.  She seemed fine with it, to me, but maybe it wasn't how everyone wants to be treated.