smartwater

I keep having it..

Didn't I already say~

I'm sorry?  Not even sure if it mattered to you.  Dunno, don't matter to me.

WAH! D;

Wah did I go outta control w|my mom?  I should not care, but I wanna be in my room at peace.  Was getting stuff.  My dad had just come out again.

Maybe, I just don't wanna be gay, too.  That was rather startling.

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Zonk

I need to really lie down.  :)

My "Conclusion"-

So, I find like random offenses against me.. like Ellen's daily posts, like a small thing dropped into a background as an insult - forget what else I was gonna say.  I had some idea @ her, something @ like ooh you don't watch TV.  I do sometimes but like it seems like once in a blue moon, I sleep.  I sit @ the computer.

Also, my stomach is so bloating.  It's from sitting @ at the mental hospital.  I wonder if I will ever be better..everyone seems to be in the same situation.  No exercise or no sleep.

I don't mean anything against Ellen, just wanted to figure out something I was thinking.  I feel she's also dropping in saying, "Don't do it."  I get the feeling she's waiting for her daughter to be born.  She should have *** with a ***y guy from New Orleans..I know they had some.

I'm glad she's preparing for having 1 baby, a girl.  She's gay, too.  I dunno she likes boys.  What if it's the way we've gotten other signals.  At this rate, I can't have my 2 kids, but she can have 1.

Edit

I edited the text box.

Problemas

I didn't even want my dad around me.  He thinks I'm in jail.  Isn't that sorta "out?"

Problema

STOP MAKING ME MAD AND PICKING AT THE WORDS I USE

I heard a beep and found my dad didn't text back.  He did that to mean something stupid.  He's very unappealing as a mad guy.  Not sure why his sisters are so fast-paced.

Una Problema

What, Ginny, think you're popular?  You're just like every single other person in the world than me.  I can get mad if I want bc you're always in a sorry mood.  What's this?  Messages at home that are insulting and stupid and redundant?  I TALK BACK

Ooh, go hide in a corner and "say it ain't so."

No one is nice to me.  How can I be nice to them?  I am, but they all dig into me.  I let myself out.  They don't.

I DON'T CARE LEAVE ME ALONE

Problema

How'm'I gonna practice voice, today, with everyone attacking me.  Who cares @ my brother?  I DON'T.  Ooh, Ellen, did I type that?  Is that the point of your Tweet for today?  I don't care if I wasn't little in the place you're from.  I lived there a long time and know more @ it than you might.  I know everyone there repeats things.

Hmph

You think nothing you do matters to me.  I don't wanna hear anything about my reaction because you didn't listen.  You knew I just typed up a big thing @ this!

Problema

My mom won't stop, and she just meandered away.  She also wants me to resend a schedule, like week-to-week or something.

GINNY I DON'T GIVE A CARE WHAT YOU THINK @ ANYTHING I DID WHEN YOU WEREN'T @ LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP MATTERING .. why am I getting these defences from you by others, my mom, my brother?  Why do you give a care?

I really won't take this.  I said something back, and you didn't listen!  So I don't care!

And

I almost prefer my dad in some sense not be considered anything in my life really like always thinking if I got some public acclaim he'd be 1 person to ruin my situation.  He's acting rather mushy..

So

I notice people keep coming to terms with me, making me feel very bad things, lots of effort to ward off, silent effort..  What I know is my dad's oldest sister who is younger seems to wonder why don't I get hurt for enjoying her.  She acts like I am a bad person and do things I shouldn't, like looks at things from a prism.  No, I'm sorry, I will not do this for her.. duh, who would?  It keeps happening.  Why does this happen and not something else?  No one else does this like this for no reason.

So, last night, my brother made me feel like my eyes were like a little bandana around my head, and my mom did that from around the back of my butt, both with 2 points on the ends, like a plastic gauze or something.  That's rather sickening.  Can anyone help them?

Update

New Text Box

Old Text Box Info.

Race:
White|Chinese migrated to non-Asian-Oriental culture
Caucasian Side Ethnicities Calculation:
Germanic, Viking|Irish, ?NA? (German, French, Dutch, English + Swiss..) PA Dutch|Amish
American Heritage:
Pennsylvanian all 4 corners + at least 1 line of some type of New Yo'ker

Desired Work:
Tinkerbell in Disney Main Street Electrical Parade, if too tall by an inch then Alice in that parade
Activities:
Singing Lessons, starting my 1st Jazz Classes maybe 2 times a week @ 2 different places
Past Activities:
Ballet 11 years, Singing seriously myself 21 years, Choir 9 years, best|Baton Twirler 2 years..
Special Skills:
Piano|Accompaniment, basic Gymnastics abilities, Ballet muscle memory, experience in Art and proclaimed artist by others, certain Athletic things, a good handle on the voice for speaking and Eastern and Southern regionalism..

What I Should Do

Take off my contacts and go to sleep.  3)

Food

Pasta cooling  3)

Won't Stop

My brother, trying to be triumphant, very annoying, no relation.  I don't like to look as he does, thinking it's funny to be like sorta starch, non-Caucasian skin and long, greasy hair.  Still has pimples.  Doesn't express anything to me that seems like especially Europeany helpful, keeps playing around, doesn't form his face as he should.  That's not me, at all, I was able to listen to my mom, then there comes my brother with her and my dad.

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Immoral Family

My dad admits if he's shitty, ordinarily.

My mom is vicious and threatening racially.  She is kind to others, maybe not deep in public.  I heard her with other mental health-related workers and stuff thinking how they got me to say something that they can make it so I get myself in trouble with them like doing things that make me do it and land locked up again for a long time, conveniently put me somewhere else, like they don't really want anything to do with me but to be mean to me and harm my life.

This Way

Think of it this way.  Ellen don't care @ nothin'.  Forget what else.  Yea, she's like a machine shooting out tennis balls that says what I did that was New Orleanian|Slidellian when I lived there means nothing.

Una Problema

I already didn't wanna be like my brother.  I think I have it better than you.  He's ruining my New Orleanian|Slidellian heritage.  I mean, he like staked his life on having every place we move over me unless we had moved back.  I already thought he shat and didn't think anything through.  What do I do that's mean?  I have niggers niggering me, literally, sometimes I am mad but rightfully so, trying to avoid niggers.

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Update

Just updated the text box.  Updated the race.

Utterly MAAAD

I was too tired to see Monsters University yesterday.

Updating

Old Text Box Info.

Hometown:
SE FL + NO
Career Path:
Performing + Directing
Personality:
Romantic + Action Seeker
Ethnicities: NW Chinese, German, Irish|Viking, French, Dutch, English, {indian?}
Race:
White|European

School Goals:
AA Music @ VCC
BM Singing @ Rollins
Masters in Music Education

Twitter

I mean it.

I want my life back, not everyone talking in code to me that I like who's famous @ my dad!!!!  My dad is like m******** me via this experiment, it feels.  I will not take it!  I was into Tim Burton, and he already wasn't supposed to touch me unless he was feeling uncrazy again.

Problema

Bella Thorne wouln stop acting mean like to me it seems.  Suggesting things, like @ my birth I think now.

Annoying

Lily Rose is a dork, what else was I gonna say .. keeps hinting in insults at me.  She thinks she's better than me and can ruin my relationships.

Problema

I don't care how "bad" a person is.. but I did not see you invade their privacy.

Always Accepted

So, you younger parents who aren't too young always make your kids feel accepted in the world.

I notice

I notice you wouldn't ask weird things to a young teenager.

Problema

It's true, my dad like gargle coughed twice as I went to and from the bathroom.  It was rather, er, pathetic.  It was about me being worthless thinking I'd accidentally k*** myself.  He has to "cover" things because he's not being as nice as before ever it seems, like there's nothing else there, no more of the good life, thanks to ya'll, don't take it out through my parents.  Yes, I'm very mad and wouldn't mind if I could think of something else mean to say.

My Calculation

Wow, Ellen doesn't like young people.  She is suggestive to us wanting attention.  I want to think I'm right, and I felt threatened @ it by my dad, too.  I mean, I questioned my dad not being as nice because of not doing well in school and the n word thing.  People are all mean to me.  I was told to leave college 3 times, not told directly but to "get some rest."  They did actually mention that in with their shit on why.  I even had good grades, I think.  This teacher Ginny, *beep*, probably mad I didn't know @ repeating the hw when she sent me to the counselor during her 1st class, Voice for the Actor.  She's a speech therapist .. works @ Disney.  Anyway..  So, Ellen is using the n word thing as an excuse to not be nice to me.  I just got a hint @ that, that I think the world is wheezy @ "finding out."  It sounds like a fad.  If you're not cool, you can't do what only cool people do, they think, like be bad and call people stuff.  If you do, then they somehow find some intelligent way of h*r*ing you.

Problema

Why act like I have a mental illness and lost all my dignity just because I had a hard Gifted History course which was also AP .. and got called in for being more like withdrawn.

Then, people actually bit at me for poorer grades, at a public high school .. switched to a Catholic 1.

Don't you get that feeling with Ellen DeGeneres?  Maybe, even Tim Burton like that, a man?

More

So, what's so funny @ me deciding it was a mistake to give a shit @ my dad?  I did give a shit.  It's his fault my world became unexciting and my mom's for getting me in the hospital by insisting an attitude on me, something to do with my dad being older.  What happened was the n word thing.  1st, Johnny Depp acted like I should call him stupid "to get it out."  Then, he was like a plague after me.

Twitter Post

I'm not saying you should trash your wedding dress just because it's a fad, but if you do, I wanna see a photo! http://ellen.tv/1aAVhdg

She just doesn't really like people.

Problema

So, Ellen made a suggestive post, "trashing your wedding dress."  I get a funny feeling she gives a shit @ what my dad thinks.  I will not accept his bullcrap about suddenly ruining our relationship in fear of others because of the n word thing, which was stpid.

Why can't anyone just respect me like before Tim Burton and the n word thing?  Who cares @ him?  I tried hard to be a good fan, and he's just racist and emits only little bits of knowledge at a time, like he's hard to reach or something.. isn't doing the same kinds of projects as before, from what I remember a long time ago.  I am a long-time active online fan.

Bad Dream

My brother's dog was a Chinese dragon and we were like in and under him and it was a girl and it was gonna have a baby.

That looks like the dog on my background.  My dad even said, "We're not getting a cat," and no reason, when I said used to think of wanting 1.

Also, I wanted to wash some things to wear, and I see my dad's stuff is already filled and my mom doesn't do laundry until tomorrow.

Problema

My dad doesn't feel safe just being nice to me.  If you want him to be mean to me, then *beep*  I've had it with his thing with the n word thing and outright am on attack in my mind for anything that happens.